Why “Internal Nesting” Matters: Rethinking How We Prepare for Parenthood

When people think of preparing for a baby, the first images that come to mind often involve cribs, tiny onesies, baby showers, and carefully curated nursery décor. These are all beautiful parts of the journey, but as a perinatal mental health psychotherapist, I believe something far more essential often gets overlooked: the internal world of the expecting parent.

This belief is exactly why I named my practice Internal Nesting Wellness.

What Is “Internal Nesting”?

Just like physical nesting is about creating a safe, comfortable space for the baby, internal nesting is about creating a safe, supported, and emotionally resilient space within ourselves. It’s about preparing you, the parent, for one of the most life-changing transitions you’ll ever experience.

Internal nesting is the process of:

• Strengthening communication between partners

• Exploring and setting boundaries

• Learning conflict resolution and emotion regulation skills

• Identifying your core values as a parent

• Managing anxiety or depression symptoms

• Planning for sleep deprivation and self-regulation strategies

• Creating fair expectations around household and parenting roles

• Reflecting on how your own childhood wounds may resurface in parenting

These internal factors don’t come in a registry gift bag, but they are absolutely foundational to a more grounded parenting experience.

Why Internal Work Is Essential

Becoming a parent doesn’t just add a baby to your life, it redefines your identity, routines, priorities, and relationships. These changes can bring up intense emotions, unhealed wounds, and moments of conflict or confusion. And yet, modern culture tends to focus more on the colour palette of the nursery than on helping parents build emotional resilience and relational tools.

Without tools to regulate emotions, manage stress, or communicate effectively, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or disconnected. Without this internal preparation, many parents find themselves blindsided. They may feel disconnected from their partner, frustrated with themselves, or confused by emotions they never anticipated. That’s why emotional preparation is just as important, if not more so, than having the perfect bassinet or baby monitor.

What Expecting Parents Really Need

Here are some of the foundational areas I support parents in exploring during pregnancy or postpartum:

• Communication: How do we talk about needs, roles, expectations, and fears?

• Boundaries: How do we say no, ask for space, or protect our time and energy?

• Conflict Resolution: How do we move through tension without blame, guilt, or avoidance?

• Emotional Regulation: What calms us, grounds us, and helps us come back to the present moment?

• Mental Health Tools: What signs should we watch for in ourselves and our partners?

• Sleep & Self-Management: How do we cope when our needs are on the backburner?

• Division of Labour: How will we share the load fairly, not just equally?

• Parenting Values: What really matters to us as parents? What do we want to pass on and what stops with us?

• Intergenerational Healing: How do we acknowledge and work through the ways our own upbringing may shape (or resurface in) our parenting?

These are not checklist items to be rushed through. These are deep conversations. Reflective work. Emotional preparation that makes space for you to show up more fully as the parent you want to be.

Let’s Redefine “Nesting”

At Internal Nesting Wellness, we believe that preparing for baby means preparing the entire system - your mind, your relationships, your nervous system, your story. Because when the inner world is grounded, parents are better equipped to show up with presence, patience, and self-compassion - even on the hard days.

So let’s challenge the societal narrative that says the best-prepared parents are the ones with the most baby gear. Let’s start telling a new story: that the best-prepared parents are the ones who know themselves, support each other, and face the journey with tools that nurture their mental and emotional well-being.

Let’s make space for the real, raw, meaningful work of internal nesting.

Because a well-decorated nursery is wonderful, but a well-supported parent? That’s essential.